Religion & Race, Relationships and Reflection

Aside from my personal reflection up there in the title of this post, which I will elaborate on a bit later, I believe that religion, race and relationships are solely based on FAITH. You may be wondering why I’ve suddenly decided to blog about this, and it’s sooooo uncalled for. Well, exams are over, most of my results are out, and by the time you read this, I’d be well into my holidays, and these past 2 days (I’ve been on holiday for only 2 days now), I’ve been thinking about stuff. So I decided to write about it, more like type about it. Haha… Well, here’s my point of view of everything. It’s not perfect, and I’m not saying I’m right, but that’s what I think about each and different people may have different opinions, so, you don’t have to agree.

RELIGION

Have FAITH in your God, whichever God that may be, or if you’re an atheist, you may be more of a spiritual person rather than a religious one. Nevertheless, I think almost everyone has some form of faith. Someone who I treat as my older brother (brownie) once said that, “I don’t believe strongly in religion, because I think all religions are the same, they give people hope and faith. Because I believe that for a person to go on in life and overcome whatever troubles, all they need is faith.” Smart words. After giving that some thought, I think I agree… I believe in God, but I do not shun other religions. And another thing he said is also true, “How do we know if there is a God? If there is any God? There has been no proof! But people still believe, because it gives them something to trust in.” So true. I know one thing, I hardly ever go to church, never read the Bible, nor do I know much, but why does it matter? So what if I have no or little knowledge about the stories? All I have to do is be a good person (and only I know if I am or not, if I’m not, then I should be sorry, and I WILL feel bad/guilty) and all I have to do is be a person that believes, because I DO believe, and I DO have FAITH in God. I think that’s all that matters. I’m not trying to make excuses, but what good does it do going to church every week only for the sake of going and when some of those patrons only visit the church because they think by doing so, they portray some kind of loyalty with hopes that they will be rewarded with a better life? I’m not saying all the church-visiting people have ulterior motives or expect that by spending their time to rejoice they expect something in return. I’M SAYING that not all people that go to church necessarily truly believe in God and necessarily are Holy or good people (ehem, ehem…for example giving expired food and stuff to people, judging people and hoping that others around them will fail and fall is truly not good or Holy… ehm…) Enough said, I hope my point is clear—religion should encourage everyone to be civilised to everyone, teach its followers that all other religions should be respected and to have faith in whatever it is they believe in. It should not demand that IT is the ONLY religion that should be followed and that ITS God is the greatest. In fact, I think the world would be a better, safer and more harmonious place if all races only believed in the one God, which is the God that is the merge of all Gods from different religions. How cool would that be? Not possible, I know. But it never hurt to imagine right? =)

RACE

If you don’t have FAITH in your own roots, your race, or to put it in more “racist” terms, your colour, then you really don’t have any respect for yourself, let alone the people you “represent”. But for the racists, I have one thing to say to you, “If you only have love for your own race then you only leave space to discriminate, and to discriminate only generates hate” (B.E.P. aka Black Eyed Peas). Hahaha. No, seriously, speaking of racists, the recent Saturday night when Shai, Sherman, Jay and I went over to Yuka’s place to “send off” Kannan the next morning (leaving for his home country), we got honked by cars at least 5-6 times in the 1 hour and 45 minutes that we spent walking from zone 3 to zone 4. Freakin racist people!! It was such a fun walk… It was like those once in a lifetime things you did with a group of friends. Lotsa fun!! Su’s taxi-riding days paid off as she led us to the house from Chermside mall (mom, in case you’re wondering, that’s the shopping centre that you shopped at and that you said you preferred shopping at rather than the ones in the city, the one bout half an hour’s drive away). Reasons for walking I-don’t-know-how-many-kilometres were because we missed the 340 bus at the city and ended up taking the 330 bus to Chermside mall, and both Shai and I only bought 2 zone tickets and Yuka’s place was at zone 4, plus, we waited for a maxi taxi that never came for about 20 mins, so we decided it would be an adventure to walk there. And it was!!!! Great fun!!!! That afternoon, around 3.30pm, I called Kannan to tell him we’d be there soon, and we didn’t reach the house until about I can’t remember, but I think it was around 9pm. He was so worried; he tried to call all of us. Yeah well, my point is that, why be racist? I think first of all it has a lot to do with upbringing. Or is it history? And if so, I don’t know much, but from what I do know, I think we were the ones that were colonised; when they come over to our country, we don’t honk at them? Ok, maybe some do, but I’ve never witnessed such, so far. There’ve been so many wars, riots and fights just because of race, and religion as well, and maybe some people are just too narrow-minded (like someone I know, but he is not racist, I don’t think, just really narrow-minded, yes, I diss him whenever I can and I don’t give a bird’s faeces, I know, I know, forgive and forget, but it doesn’t work like that for me). Anyways, why create more animosity when history is painted with so much of it? Aren’t we supposed to be civilised people who are moving into a new age where equity and equality is practiced? Maybe I’m reading too much into this, I’ve never SEEN the drivers that honked us, cos they usually speed off pretty fast; hopefully, they’re not the adults of Aus. I hope it’s just teenage aussies that think: Hey!! Gooks!! Honk ’em!! If the people that honked at us were adults, I can only imagine what goes on in their childish, racist minds. The way I see it, adult or teenager, it’s either they feel threatened, or they just want to have “fun”. That’s my theory. But I just don’t see the point, what good does it do?

RELATIONSHIPS

I think you’ll all agree with me when I say without FAITH in your partner and friend, the relationship will not work, and I don’t just mean the boy-girl relationships, but also the friendships we build.

Ok, first of all, the guy-girl, man-woman type of relationship, if couples did not trust in each other and have faith in each others’ choices and actions, there’d be so many broken families and broken hearts. I’m sure there have been many of both occasions, faith not being the only reason. But I see relationships as a big mind game, even right from the beginning… Example, I’m sure everyone thinks like this at one point: I wonder if he/she thinks of me the same way as I think of him/her… Am I right? Not trying to come off as conceited here but I think I know a bit about relationships even though I haven’t yet been in one. Haha… it’s easy to spot things and see where things are going. Even for my friends around me that are in relationships. So I learn from their experiences. It is pretty interesting just looking in as an outsider and not getting involved. Mind GAME!!! Another example, when your partner is out without you: I wonder what he/she is doing now… do you think he/she is cheating on me? Sometimes I feel that it’s really hard to trust people, especially if you’ve just met the person. It’s pretty amazing how relationships work as well. Both parties have to trust in someone you don’t really know and are just getting to know, talk about personal stuff and expect him/her to understand/share the same experiences. Man!!! Relationships are so… so…. so much work. How do people have time for all that? And if the person lets you down… I can only imagine the devastation. It’s kind of scary for me. Cos I get obsessed with things easily. If I like something, I like it a lot… and will never let go. Ok, I may, in the future… but it won’t be easy. Like the Matrix, or Star Wars and Avril… I don’t like change much. And it’s really hard to change my mind on things… examples would be like clubbing, or what I think about a person. So I find it hard to believe in things/people that will eventually and possibly leave. Cos I’d get so attached, I think… I’m pretty sure I would. Another reason why I think relationships (guy-girl ones) are mind games is because you always have to try and read the other person’s mind… example: what is he/she thinking? Does he/she expect me to do something? I mean, isn’t that tiring? I don’t know… but relationships seem really tedious to me… I guess for some it’s effortless, but that’s only if you’re willing to commit… and for guys, not all, but most, it’s hard for them to do that. Which is sad… hahaha… From what I know and have seen/heard, girls are willing to do anything for the guy but the guy is not willing to do the same for the girl. Once again it comes down to faith in the other person…

Friends… I value friends… a lot… and it really sucks when they don’t treat you the same way… I’ve come across some of those types and it really hurts. But I’ve learned not to care… to me, those so-called friends, will never have the same status in my eyes anymore. Friends are the best though, especially the ones that help you whenever you need it. My friends (a few) are my family here! And it has been a good lesson. You need to have faith in your friends too, until they let you down, then you should just… not give a shit. Hahahaha… my advice… cos that’s what I’m doing.

REFLECTION

Being on holiday and all, I have had too much alone time which I mostly use to think about things. And one of the things I’ve been doing is pulling out memories that have been in my memory bank but that I have not “seen” in ages and trying to look for bits and pieces of my childhood that are more prominent than others. I think reminiscing is appropriate because I’ll be heading home soon, home as in Country-home-KK, and ever since exams started and I knew the date of my home-coming or “home-going” rather, I’ve been thinking lots about home and things that remind me of other things related to home. Maybe I’m making no sense to you, but what I’ve been doing is basically reflecting on my 19 years and 8 months on this earth so far. And that’s longer than some that die young and never got the chance to live their lives, and that’s why I am grateful everyday for the “position” I’m in and for the people that surround me. It’s funny the things you think about when you actually dig for them. I can remember times when I felt embarrassed as a kid, occasions that I will always appreciate as a memory and events that have shaped my life. Some of the memories consist of visits to the laser disc rental shop back when I was around 7-10 and recalling how it smelled and what the street looked like; jogs at the park nearby with the family back when dad still had time to and mom was up for it; building “castles” or tents with the living room furniture and spare blankets to play with Char and Stef before Dougie was born; putting on “shows” which were choreographed by Char and myself with my siblings for mom and dad; And dad teaching me how to play basketball or when he jumped onto a skateboard and lost his balance, some of his lame jokes that make me laugh and talks of golf lessons; mom’s rock-hard gingerbread man and delicious red wine steak dinners, story book readings and her persuasive talks to try to get me to learn piano and take the Grade 1 exam; all the fun us cousins had in Wes’ spare room next to the kitchen—from flying spaceships to dancing the lion dance for chinese new year; and running around with Lego or Lassie guns around the house; watching Baja Hitam and Power Rangers while laughing our heads off; Jason, Bevan and sometimes Noel lighting fireworks down near the gate with the whole family sitting up on the slope enjoying them. Those are some of memories that are always cool to revisit. I have even thought up my favourite and most precious birthday gifts from friends, and how those presents involved the efforts that are still very much appreciated. Examples would be Has and Terr’s Paper Mache Album which I often looked through over and over again, Utmost’s signed skate deck, Yam’s t-shirt and Avril bag. And my favourite birthday party was the one my parents held for me many many many years ago at FUN2!!! Haha. It’s a lot of fun looking back, when you have the time that is. At this stage you must be thinking: Man! This girl is tooooo free! Actually I am not THAT free, I need to start looking for work soon, which is the main reason why I am staying back for an extra month and according to Shirley, I need a resume. Crap! I don’t even know if there’s a format for that thing and what kind of information besides my name, telephone number and tax file number is needed. Anyone that can help me with that? Haha… please email me asap… Kev? Dad? Irz? Aunty Casey? Thank you.

For the past month now, I’ve been missing the cheap, and some not so cheap, but good food of KK. Haha… I’ve been planning which restaurants and kopitiams I should visit first… But I think the first thing I’ll do when I get back is have a nice dinner with my family at Little Italy!!! Haha… I really really miss the milkshake and the soup and the pizza… Mmmm… thinking about it gets me real hungry. Then, next person I’ll most likely see first is Has for our roti canai sessions… oh man!!! Then, satay dinner or something… I really miss satay for some reason. Ah!!! And popcorn Mondays!!! Only Ahad and Dougie know this, every Monday last year, most Mondays, Ahad would pick me up from school and would need to drop Dougie off at tuition soon after, so I’d always drop by the cinema for a large popcorn. I really miss the sweet popcorn, the only popcorn they have here is freaking expensive and only salty. Not what I go for… Sad… Oh my God!!! And Coffee Bean!!! Oh man!!! I miss everything there! From the drinks to the food to the smell and the atmosphere of the place. Oooo… Oooo… and the Burger King Double Mushrrom. Holy Moly. Yup… Little Italy, roti canai, satay, popcorn, a Coffee Bean cap or ultimate ice blended, Double Mushroom at BK. Hmm… What else? I’m trying to list everything before I forget… Man! Getting so hungry just thinking about it and my salivary glands are working overtime. Hahahahah…. Ooooo… I’m gonna be even rounder in the face when I get back… Hahaha. And my family’s already saying I gained weight. Which I’m pretty sure I have… I ordered in pizza last night to celebrate my results. Haha… Yes… Alone… What? I like to be alone… Plus, more pizza for me!!! Haha.. and watched TV and movies. Yes…. Alone… I prefer to. And another thing you must know about my diet recently, I have been eating lotsa oats, cereal, canned soups and bagel crisps. Too lazy to cook. And when I say recently, I mean for the past 2 months. Haha… I have cooked, occasionally, when I have chicken in the freezer. But it’s too much of a hassle, and the microwave is much simpler (for the oats and heating the soup). Scary thing is that I have gained a bit of weight for not eating much at all!! And I find myself getting hungry every 2 and a half to 3 hours. Gees… my appetite. WeIrD! Oh, I am eating what’s left of a tub of ice-cream now as I type. Haha… Don’t worry mom, I’ll play basketball tomorrow or skip rope or something.

Besides food, I also miss my objects:
-My 3 babies: My jeep (technically not mine), my drumset (must be so out of tune and dusty; miss hitting it hard) and little Dougie (ok, this is not an object, if he was he’d be the object of my affection… =) my little bro… so cute!!!)
-Astro!!! Oh my God… TV here’s not bad, but Astro would be better.
-All the DVDs!!!
-The family room couch, which I recently heard has been “exterminated” (sad)
-My spot on the bed in the reassuring, comfortable corner
-My lightsaber!!! Smooch Smooch Smooch… My precious….
-Matrix figurines. Miss looking at you guys
-And strangely enough, the toilet bowl in mom and dad’s room

I definitely miss my people:
-Dad, for his lame jokes, funny faces and hugs.
-Mom, for the talks we have, her advice and most importantly—piano music (somehow I miss that a lot).
-Char, for when she never listens, her funny jokes, expressions, impersonations and wild imagination.
-Stef, for our arguments, her hilarious attempts at accents, lame and weird jokes at the dinner table and attempts to request for pets.
-Dougie, for when we fight over the TV, his requests for Pokemon battles and his face when I hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek.

Yeah… Can’t wait to get back and be a couch potato again!!! Hey mom and dad, if i can't find a job in the next week, can you move my flight up earlier?? Haha...

For all of you that don’t know, I’ll be back on the 14th of Nov 2006. Thanks for reading and thanks for caring!!!