Death, Consumerism Culture, the “Mouse Incident” and Breaking Up

The thought of death has never been clearer to me than just recently. It never occurred to me that someone can be here one moment and without saying goodbye, be gone the next. I’ve always been aware that this would happen to people of course, I’m not a kid. I’m just saying that it’s really hit me hard recently because of the deaths of Bubs, Steve Irwin and just recently this Aussie racer guy, Peter Brock that I’ve never heard of… he crashed into a tree.

Just 2 days after Bubble’s death, we were informed in Comm class that Steve Irwin was dead. Most of us couldn’t believe it. I felt even worse for his family: his wife, his 8-year-old daughter and I think 3-year-old son. That day I went home after class and turned the tv on, looking for answers to his death. Obviously the whole of Aus was devastated but at the same time never thought this could happen… especially not to Steve… the crocodile hunter that they thought was “indestructible”. Was really upsetting I guess. Watching the short snippets on the news of his life, I felt dismal, saddened, lugubrious, crestfallen, depressed… You get the gist. I was gloomy, especially this snippet where Steve and Bindi (his daughter) were at the back of a boat and were talking to the camera about a sea turtle that they had at the side of the boat and were going to release, the way Steve looked at his daughter reduced me to tears. Just from his eyes, you could tell that he loved his daughter, he was so proud of her, he adored her, she was his whole world, she meant everything to him. It was so sad. I felt really bad for his family… Really bad. It’s surprising how much you can feel for a stranger, even though he is a celebrity, he’s a stranger to me and still I felt like I had lost someone I knew. Made me realize how short life is and how often we take things for granted or more like, people, for granted. Sorry, I’ve just realized how many clichés I use all the time. Anyways, back to the topic, I’m fine now of course, since I’ve thought it over and realized there’s nothing you can do but grieve for a while and then get on with life because we should make the most of the lives before our time is up. Still, Steve’s case was just unfathomable—only 2 people have died of a stingray attack, if I’m not mistaken, his death was the second one. Its barb pierced his chest and excreted some kind of toxin and that was it. He died. He didn’t even attempt to touch the thing, he was just swimming over it and it attacked him. Talk about “freak accidents”. This is what had happened according to the news. Thinking about it still scares me. And to think that his wife and kids were in Canberra at the time on a holiday while Steve shot footage. Imagine what a breakdown Terri had when she got news her husband was dead. God. I can only imagine… And the kids asking to see daddy. Breaks my heart. Death is in the air people. Be careful wherever you are—whether you’re crossing the road or driving around. Please be careful and don’t do anything to jeopardize your safety, nothing stupid. You don’t want your family to be upset for something stupid you did. Life can be so strong when you have the mentality (Steve definitely had the zest for life), but so fragile at the same time. We only have one life, unless you believe in reincarnation, but that’s different… We only have one life, so live it with passion and take nothing for granted.

Listening to The Fray’s album (How to Save a Life), a friend lent me the cd a long time ago, I put it in my iTunes and only recently started listening to it, my point is that listening to their music has really helped. Their music is so easy going, so mellow, it makes you feel at peace with everything. It’s great, I love it. I enjoy the piano in it as well, reminds me of home (where there’s always music, especially piano) and my mom. The thing is that I can’t remember which friend lent the cd to me. Hmm… Either Haz or Mr Kook I think.

Moving on to the consumerism culture of today, I must admit that I am guilty of this as is everyone. Sitting in Ken’s lecture 2 weeks ago about “culture jamming”, I realized how true this was. “Culture jammer” is the term given to someone who changes the face of billboards or little posters and ads to show their real message. Mostly made of artists who are also activists, culture jammers are trying to raise awareness about the consumerism culture that has made society zombies to the obsession of acquiring goods by painting over sign boards and creating spoofs of TV commercials to reveal the actual message. Everyone is chasing after money to fulfil their dreams of owning, or more like buying something. Let’s leave the fact that some people actually do just make enough to feed their families out. I’m talking about the people that haul in big amounts of cash each month and the ones that don’t but still spend like crazy. Look at the people around you, almost surely everyone is wearing branded goods—Nike, adidas, polo, dolce and gabbana, dior, vera wang, jimmy choo, Versace, billabong, quiksilver and so much more. Same applies to cars—Mercedes Benzes, BMWs, Rolls Royces, Ferraris. I felt ashamed, not because someone made me feel that way, because I realized how wrong we were to think so. Think about it, this really was an awakening for me, an epiphany. Why are we so obsessed with these brands and their products? Why is it such a big thing? Why do we even care? Shameful. Just shameful. The people that can afford it just make the people who can’t feel small and inadequate. Make them long for something that they can’t have. The same message resonated from this documentary I watched about people collecting the Air Jordan Nike shoes. An African American man told the interviewer that back in the day in the black neighbourhoods, kids would get robbed or sometimes even worse, killed because of the Air Jordan shoes they were wearing. Wow. Look at what the world is coming to. It’s a sad truth. We’re all chasing after our dreams. Dreams to have a perfect life. We’d do anything (some even illegal things) just to achieve that dream. Dreams of a big house, nice cars, fancy furniture… etc. What happened to the good old days (I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t there, but based on what I hear) where life was simple and people were still thankful with what they had. Consumerism has complicated society in terms of how we think and the way we act. Everyone wants to “hit it big”, be rich and successful and in some cases, famous. I guess it could be fulfilling, but through all this, your morals are lost and so is the person you were… lost in the sea of narrow-minded but focused thinking, (for some) corruption, absent-mindedness and dirt that finally gave you what you wanted—material possessions and a façade of security both emotionally and mentally. Are you happy now? I seriously doubt that. And I seriously doubt that anyone can achieve their goals (especially big ones) without getting caught up in the dirt of that industry, whatever it may be. Because I am almost certain that you’d have to step on other people to do it. In the end you will come out of it a changed man/woman, denying the fact that you have changed and blind to what you have become. I strongly believe technology is also another culprit of what the human race is becoming. I never used to rely so much on computers and the internet. Ask anyone, I seldom used msn to chat or even surf the net. Wasn’t my thing. But since I’ve come here, the school uses the internet so incessantly that I’ve been forced to use it. Our OLT site is an example of this (OLT stands for Online Learning and Teaching site). We get most of our notes for class there. Isn’t it sad? And our QUT email, we need it to be “in the loop” of what’s happening and to contact our teachers. Sad… I never liked the changing face of mobile phones either. To date I’ve only changed phones once and am currently using my second mobile phone. I pity the parents of the kids that need to buy a new and “more updated” phone for them each month or every few months just because “it’s the new model out” and stuff… I mean… SO WHAT?? And gosh, don’t even get me started on the Baby-G Craze when I was in primary school. Those things were so “in fashion” they were disgusting. My classmates who had them made me feel the urge of getting one. I REMEMBER wanting one. Thanks mom and dad for not buying me one when I asked for it. Kept me grounded and forever stuck on that Casio digital, “shit green”-coloured watch, as Haz would call that colour, for people who don’t know what “shit green” is, in Hakka it’s “up-si chiang”. Haha. I loved that watch, bought the same one after the first one died on me. Haha. Some things are a necessity; I get it… but WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! WE ARE VICTIMS OF CONSUMERISM CULTURE!!! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!!! SNAP OUT OF THIS SPELL BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!! Before you lose your loved ones whether literally or technically. Before your mentality sucks everyone around you dry. We have to be aware of what the world is coming to—consumerism culture and the desperate following of the lives of celebrities.

Shirley, my flatmate, is really nice. She buys me chocolates, washes the toilets, leaves her celeb gossip mags (talk about being obsessed, she buys one every week) outside my door for my reading pleasure (which I hardly get time to do)…you get the picture. But my God, when she started freaking out when she saw a mouse run out from under her bed, it really annoyed me. I’m sure I would’ve done the same. But I have a tough time empathizing with people. She was just squealing with that “going to cry” facial expression and her squeaky, high-pitched voice just made it worse and really pissed me off. She was so jumpy, she made me jumpy. She was talking to her mom on her hand phone in her room while sitting on her bed when she saw “something brown” run out from under her bed to another corner of her room. This was the first time that she screamed and I was in my room at the time. I knew she was talking on the phone so I assumed she was excited about something. Whatever. The second time she actually screamed then called me out of my room. She told me she saw “something brown and small” run out from under her bed, but when she screamed it ran back under. Hmm. Before this I’d never seen a rat or a mouse or whatever in the apartment, so I told her that it shouldn’t be a rat. But then she said a cockroach wouldn’t be so smart as to run back under when she was screaming. She had a point. The whole time we were talking she was soooooo jumpy and squeal-ly, she’d jump every time her feet touched the mat on the floor or when she bumped into my bike handle. It really really annoyed me. I wanted to scream at her to stop it. But instead I settled for, “Can you please stop doing that” in a calm voice, when actually what I wanted to say was, “Stop Doing That!!! Gosh!!!” The whole time we were talking, we were standing outside the kitchen area while waiting for whatever was in her room to come out (she left her room door open). Shirls told me she watched a documentary on TV once about little rats and mice and that they can compress their ribcages to get into nooks and crannies. I didn’t believe her much then and thought she was being paranoid. And every time I gave her the “yeah, right” look, she’d say, “why don’t you believe me? I’m a science student! No one believes me! Last time when I stayed in Kenwall, we had three bloody rats, this [gestures] big…” I’d space out. After about 15 mins of listening to her yap about what happened in the past few places she’s lived at and how no one believed her and how she’s a science student (so what, so are most people) and studied science for bla bla years because her dad wanted her to become a doctor but she wasn’t interested so she’s an accountant now… yada yada yada (I’ve just heard that story soooooo many times… Shirls is very very repetitive repetitive repetitive), a little brown mouse ran out from her room, Shirley was in the middle of her sentence when I saw it and started screaming, she joined me. When we did so, the little thing ran back around the corner into her room. At this point I was sure it was a mouse, because I saw it with my own eyes. Shirls started squirming, squealing and saying, “I told you, I told you” in her high-pitched voice. I had goose bumps, not cos of her voice, cos of the mouse. Disgusting!!! Rodents!!! ARGH!!!

We contemplated on what to do—Call Tristan (that guy I was supposed to share internet with that lives 2 apartments down the hall) or just leave the door to Shirl’s room open and let it run out? The 2nd choice was no good because it would mean that the mouse would still be in the apartment and possibly come into my room. From here, more thoughts emerged… what if it had been living here all this time and we didn’t know about it? What if it has been breeding!!?? YUCK! And it was then I recalled that in Semester 1 when I was watching TV, sitting on my lounge chair in my room when something crawled in from under the slit of my door to the corner of my room. Its quick movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I hoped it was a cockroach then. Didn’t think much of it. Tried shaking things on the floor but nothing was ever found. But when mom and dad were here over the hols, we had to move a lot of things in and out and we didn’t find a dead mouse or anything so I felt much better after that reassuring thought. Anyways, Shirls went to get Tristan and he came with his phone which had a torch to look under her bed. They moved her mattress out as I stood outside the kitchen area keeping a look out. Nothing came out. Shirls then stood in the hallway that led to my room as Tristan lifted the base of her bed and I stood outside the kitchen. The mouse ran out and towards me, I freaked and by reflex jumped onto the nearest chair. It disappeared after it went beneath my bike. From the angle that I was at (up on the chair), that was the last time I saw it. The apartment door was open so we assumed it squeezed out from under the door. Tristan was really nice about everything, he checked everywhere for us. Didn’t find the little thing.

We left it at that, and Shirls took her blankets and pillows out of my room (she put them in there earlier before moving the mattress and also said she wanted to sleep in my room that night). But she didn’t, as long as the mouse wasn’t in her room, she could sleep. We stuffed the space between our doors and the floor that night and they’ve been stuffed ever since… Just in case. I called the landlord the next day, he came the day after with rat bait that looked like bars of chocolate, he put a piece in a corner and a piece under the sink. I told him, at the request of Shirls, that we wanted a piece of wood or whatever to be fixed to the base of our doors so the space would be smaller and hopefully the mouse wouldn’t be able to get into our rooms and also so we didn’t need to stuff things. Bart measured the base of Shirls’ door and mine. While he was measuring her door, he pulled a little bit of towel sideways to make way. He told me that a mouse could crawl in even through that little space. I thought he was joking, but apparently he was serious. Then I believed what Shirls said. He also supported Shirls’ comment about how the mouse could’ve climbed in from open windows. Gross or what? I checked under the kitchen sink yesterday to see if the rat bait was still there… But I couldn’t see it, even after I moved the wooden board away. As I did so though, I saw an even smaller mouse than the one that night run from left to right. Ew… I was so grossed out that morning I didn’t really have breakfast. Anyways, everything is still in motion, Bart’s coming tomorrow. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that ever since the rat bait was placed in their positions, huge and I mean huge flies have been coming into the apartment. Shirls has been freaking out again cos of them (flies). I don’t plan on telling her about the missing chunk of rat bait, she’d just freak and get all jumpy and paranoid. I just hope nothing’s died inside the apartment… GROSS!!!

She’s been really paranoid since that night, paranoid beyond my tolerance level. Want some examples? She’s moved our bins onto the cabinet surface beside the fridge then telling me that she doesn’t mind if WE put our bins there so the mouse or mice’s food supply is cut off. I’m thinking, “Yeah science student, really smart, put the bins on the cabinet even though you told me that they can climb”. I also told her what Bart said about how after the mouse or mice eat the bait, they’d need water and would hopefully go outside to look for water and die there. Now I regret telling her that because she has since imposed “a rule” where we should both mop up the water in the bath area and the toilet area of the bathroom after we shower. She also asked me if we should keep the toilet bowl covered so the mouse wouldn’t drink from there and die somewhere in the apartment. I was like, “Yeah, like it’s going to jump into a ‘pool’ of water to drink… It’ll drown!” Am I right? I was just going on common sense. Dad, am I right? Oh, there’s more. She washed her clothes in the washing machine and brought them up to hang on my rack and guess what she asked me? “Do you think they’ll (meaning the mice) climb onto the rack to get to my clothes?” she asked. “Why? What for?” I said. “You know, get water. Cos my clothes are wet?” She replied. “What? How?” I asked in a mocking tone. “I don’t know, do you think they’ll lick my clothes?” she asks while doing the licking motion with her own tongue. I burst out laughing and responded with “NO!” Gosh… Don’t you think she’s just being ridiculous? Definitely overreacting… To me, ignorance is bliss; I was fine before I found out. I choose not to think about it, silly as it sounds.

This morning (Saturday the 9th of September), I was awoken by Shirls’ knocking on my door. This has become a usual thing, she knocks on my door all the time, it’s pretty annoying, especially when I’m doing my work or watching TV (I can’t stand being interrupted when I’m watching TV, ask my immediate family). And all she does is talk about her life, which of course is mostly about her and her boyfriend James or her and her friends’ time after a night out clubbing or things at work and other sorts of crap. Basically I think she’s suffering from Chatterbox Syndrome or Talk-a-lot-it is, or worse… BOTH. Anyways, I was still in bed and in a sleepy mood so I thought if I ignored her knocking this time she’d leave me alone. But nope, she knocked louder. Damn!! Couldn’t stay in bed. So I got out of bed and opened the door. I didn’t know what time it was but I hate it when people wake me up… Gets me really annoyed.

“Sorry Jamie, I just really need to talk to you cos me and James just broke up,” she was crying and clutching a roll of toilet paper in her hand.

“Dear Lord, this would take a while,” was what I thought. Plus I was still half asleep. I was not ready for that at all. Plus I’m bad with being empathetic, and it’s not like I can base it on experience either… So… Haiyo…

She talked as usual, much like a monologue. Every time she asked me a question I’d say what I thought but she’d always cut me off or say that I was wrong and other things people say when they disagree with you, and she’d always start it with “But Jamie,………..”

Like when I told her to stop crying out of concern and she said, “But Jamie, you can’t just tell me to stop crying like that, it just happened an hour ago, so…” then her face would change to the “going to cry” expression and then she’d cry and then I’d stare into space while patting her on the knee. Then she’d blow her nose, not cry anymore and continue talking. It’s hard for me to comment cos I don’t know James, even though Shirls does tell me about her problems with him and stuff, and I don’t really know Shirls either. Understand where I stand here. Basically I know very little. She tells me she’s meeting her mom soon so she’ll have to go in a few minutes, but keeps talking anyways. Every time she asks me, “You know what I mean?” all I can say is “I can imagine”. Pretty useless talking to me, but I try. But seriously, every time I tried to offer her advice she’d shoot back with one of her comments. It’s like, ok, why are we talking again? Oh, right, you’re upset, doesn’t seem like it though, despite you crying on and off but still talking like normal. Man oh man!!! So annoying!! She has always tried to “educate” me anyways…

Then she goes off to pee and change (clothes) while screaming for me to “wait awhile”. Wait for I don’t know what. She returns with a new top and her bag.

“Could I get a hug?” she asks. So I give her a hug. Then she talks a bit more as she gathers all her tear-absorbed tissues from the dining table and chucks them into her bin. “Thank you for listening to me and being so understanding,” she says as she leans in to hug me yet again. I get it, she’s emotional, affectionate, heartbroken, sad that her 1 and a half year relationship is over, I should be supportive and give her hugs. But as she moves out of the hug, guess what she says? And she says this in the nicest way possible, almost in a motherly tone.

“Don’t tap Jamie (she means pat as in patting her back as I give her a hug), tapping sort of gives the impression that you’re superficial, never tap. Yeah, sorry, just letting you know. Yeah, tapping is bad. Never tap.”

HA! Cracks me up, I was shaking my head inside. So I respond with, “Oh [still a bit shocked from her comment], that’s just how I hug. Never knew that, thanks.” Talk about being understanding, I always thought that patting someone on the back while you gave them a hug meant something like, “it’s okay,” like consoling them or something. Well, apparently not! Apparently it’s superficial!!! Haha… OH MY GOD!! How intensely annoying can a person be? “Forget it,” I told myself, “she’s upset, she can say whatever she wants as long as she feels like she has taught me something new.” I must say she’s very incisive, but in a bad and slightly annoying way (not all the time, but some times). She talks waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

Morgan!!!! See why I need you to come over next year?? So I can get the pleasure of kicking her out… You have got to help me out man… Haha… please consider. Oh, some things to tip the scale Brissie’s way: the Kelvin Grove urban village will be complete end of this month; there’ll be convenience stores, restaurants, coffee shops etc less than 5 minutes away, plus bus fare is cheap here, and the bus stop and taxi stand is right outside (you know that already), there’s a good skate park in Paddington, nice locations for skating on campus as well. What more do you want man? Anyways, just something for you to think about. I can’t wait til end of the year when I’m back! We’ll skate down Sentosa Hill again, this time my board won’t shake cos I got the screws tightened and new rubbers. All the best with your VCE thing!! Break a leg!! Not literally…

If you’ve just finished reading, mind telling me what you think about “tapping” while hugging someone? Is it true that we should “never tap”? I’d like to know.

Thanks for reading and thanks for caring, see you guys in November (hopefully you guys will be in KK)!! Can’t wait!!!