Shai's B'day & Carselding During the Hols & Why I Hate Clubbing & Shock on Tuesday

Friends...

Positive aspect: They’re your family away from home in a foreign country.

Negative aspect/s: You don’t really know them as well as your friends back home, or more accurately—you don’t really know them as well as you think OR the friendship will no doubt be weaker than the ones that took you years and years to form.

What can I conclude? Everything’s different in a foreign country. Some find time away from home a taste of sweet freedom. Some might find it scary and stressful, as well as insecure in a new environment. Some might fit in well and adapt as they go along. Some might not be able to take it and erm… do the unthinkable. Some might be easily influenced by the new friends they make and the new bonds they form. Some might feel peer pressured to do stupid things just cos the group they hang out with does it… whatever IT may be.

And sometimes if you’re lucky enough to associate carefully and really pick your friends, you’ll end up forming stronger and closer friendships with people you may not have ever met throughout your whole life regardless of the different contexts you’re in.

But then there are always those who you think you know but really don’t, the ones you respect thinking they’re the gems you picked out in a pile of rocks, no, make that a mountain of rocks; the ones you think should know better, should be thinking on a more mature level than you just cos they’re older; the ones that you respect thinking they respect you, the ones you look up to for guidance and mature decisions governed by common sense and experience, the ones that you think would surely value friendship and see friendship as important and valuable. But then after you spend some time with them and see the decisions they make, the way they act and how they deal with things, your perception of them changes completely and you see what kind of people you’ve made friends with. Respect for them drops and you see them in an entirely different scope.

Last week was my one-week holiday, a break after 7 weeks of semester 2. Hectic indeed. I spent 4 nights at the Carseldine home of my 5 friends: Yuka (who was in Japan at the time, she went back for hols), Chewan, Alan, Su and Kannan. Amber, Alan’s girlfriend lives there as well. And the furry little thing, I mean Pomeranian, Fluffy (Yuka’s dog). I’ll get back to that a little later.

SHAIRAH’S BIRTHDAY PARTY

On the Saturday (12 August) before the actual holidays started (I see Monday as the start of a new week), it was Shairah’s 18th birthday, hoorah for her. Sonia and Martha, or as I call them collectively, Marnia, had planned a “celebration” for her. Initially it was supposed to include the guys, but they live so far away (Carseldine is in zone 4), so in the end it became a girls night out slash Shairah’s birthday celebration. A week or two before that, they were talking about going to a club to celebrate her birthday because this would be the only way Shai could get into a club legally (legal age), finally (for her)… I told them, “Yeah, you guys have fun then.” And since I said that, Marnia had been trying to persuade me to go along “just for fun” (they said).

There are reasons as to why I hate, despise and detest clubbing. Allow me to argue my point/s— I have never been into a club, and I don’t intend to, because what I think clubs are like is enough to keep me away from one. I can bet you that it would be dark and that the only lights on will be the colourful ones that blink and spin around the room, those things really annoy me, especially when accompanied by loud rap music (possibly FIDY cent, Nelly or some other rapper that recite crap about sex and “hot” or “phat” girls and life in the Bronx or black gang wars, yada yada yada and curse like there’s no tomorrow), I mean, who listens to that crap? It’s meaningless, just like clubbing, so I suppose it’s only right for them to play that kind of music in that kind of place. The music is already enough reason for me to stay away. But there’s more! Why would anyone want to go to clubs to get their drinks spiked and allow themselves to be “taken advantage” of? (To be graphic). Some people say they go to clubs to drink, sometimes I want to say to them, “Why don’t you just buy drinks and sit at home with some close friends and drink then? Isn’t it safer and more meaningful?” Some people, like Shirls, tell me that they like to dance, and that’s why they go to clubs. So I’m thinking, why can’t you dance to your own music at home then? I mean, is that even reason enough to go to a club. It’s a pretty lame reason. Then, some people tell me that they like to meet new people in clubs. “Okay, that’s just wrong,” is my opinion. Why would you want to meet people in a place like THAT? I mean, are they even trustworthy? Are they “proper” people? Are they nice people? Are they people you would wanna associate yourself with? Are they the people you would hang out with? Would they even remember you? For all you know they could be half drunk or completely drunk. Do the conversations mean anything? Ask yourself, “What kind of conversations go on in clubs?” I’m assuming it’s really superficial, fake, on-the-surface stuff. “OH, hi, how’re you doing?” or “Hey sexy, wanna dance?” or “So, you come here often?” or “What do you do? Oh, you’re studying here? Where?” or “It’s been quite cold lately, huh?” or “You wanna dance?” “NO!!! NOW PISS OFF!!” would be what I’d say. Get what I mean? LAME!!!! Meaningless conversations, nothing you couldn’t live without, I’m sure. Shirls once asked me while she was talking about one of her clubbing stories, “How do you meet people if you don’t go to clubs? I mean, how do you plan on meeting guys? How do you meet guys?” I was sort of shocked cos it was such a stupid question. 1 Is a club the only place to meet people? I don’t think so! 2 I don’t go looking for guys to meet, I be friends with whoever comes my way or crosses my path. 3 That is the LAST place I’d choose to “meet guys” or even people in general. So, if the setting is not good, music is not good, people are not good, why do people like clubbing? I really don’t see the point.

When Sonia called me with the “actual, finalized plans” for Shai’s birthday, she told me that SHE would take us to this place where SHE likes to hang out cos of the good cheesecake, then SHE would take us clubbing and we could all stay over at HER place. Right, I told her that I didn’t want to go “clubbing” (such a stupid word AND a stupid activity). And being the “old soul” and “motherly” figure she was, she gave me a freaking lecture. A lecture on what? A freaking lecture on going clubbing “FOR” Shairah as it “IS HER BIRTHDAY AFTERALL” and because Shairah “WOULD WANT ME TO BE THERE”. Sonia also talked about how I shouldn’t be so “HARD-HEADED” and so “STUBBORN” (I know, they mean the same thing) and that I should be “CONSIDERATE” and “THINK ABOUT DOING SOMETHING OTHER PEOPLE (like herself I guess) LIKE FOR A CHANGE” and “BE MORE ACCOMMODATING”. Sonia claims she doesn’t like clubbing and prefers “pub-ing”, but in my opinion, she does likes clubbing. Anyways, basically she made me feel like a party pooper, but I told her I’d think about it. And usually when I say “I’ll think about it”, it means that I’ll think about it but I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna go. And usually after I have “thought about it”, and still can’t draw my own conclusion, then it’s time to talk to my dearest mother, hahaha… I mean my mom, the only person who owns me and the only person I can trust to make the right decision/s for me. My dad could too, but he likes me to think for myself and would definitely leave it up to me in the end. And when I’m too lazy to think, mom will always give me the right answer, or at least the answer I hope she’ll give me—NO. But nope, she gave me a few scenarios, a bit of advice, and left it up to me in the end. I was having a hard time deciding whether I should follow my normal rules or break them for once. Dang. Tough. In the end I decided, “fine, whatever, guess by going I’ll just be proving myself right. Plus at least I would’ve been into a club for the first time and see for myself what it’s really like and WHY (the hell) people like it so much (the poor idiots)”

I must point out that I was still going against “my beliefs” and my “self-set principles of life (and whatnot)” by even thinking about it. Cos, you must know this by now, I hate, detest, and absolutely despise the useless and waste-of-my-time-activity of clubbing. So, I decided on going, huge step for me, cos I am pretty stubborn. I wasn’t happy about it, nor was I looking forward to it, but I changed my mind-set from “NO WAY!” (YADA), to “OK, I’ll GIVE IT A TRY (with reluctance)”.

Sonia also told me that I couldn’t get in unless I wore bloody-friggin-heels. Fine, fine. The plan was that we all meet up at HER place and GET READY before going out. So I brought a nicer top, heels, my toothbrush and contact lens stuff in my bag. When I got to her place (after meeting up with the birthday girl and walking there), I could see why they needed to “get ready”… gosh, it was like a flea market with Sonia’s jewellery sprawled all over her bed (for us to borrow if we wanted to). Plus there were clothes everywhere like her, Martha and Su had been trying on a gazillion outfits maybe two hours earlier before finally deciding. Gosh… Then on the single bed in the corner I see Jay Panicker sitting quietly just observing.

Allow me to explain, first name: Jay, surname: Panicker, a new friend doing first sem Foundation. She’s Indian, like Kannan, comes from S’pore, like Kannan and is quiet, often daydreams (I have a specialist term for this: bubbling, this is specifically for Jay) and comes from a very conservative Indian family (Kannan’s analysis). I had only met her once or twice before this but found her to be a really nice person; the bubbling thing is just our way (Kannan and I) of teasing her, plus it brings us closer. Haha… Weird as that sounds.

Jay and Shai.

I said hi and sat beside her, we both watched them “get ready”. Sonia was fiddling with her hair and kept asking us which hairstyle went better (i.e. made her look prettier), Martha was getting dressed, and Su was lazing around on the bed all ready and waiting for them. Shai went into the toilet to change. After her, I went in to change. Jay didn’t bring anything and didn’t bring her passport, she is legally allowed into clubs, as she is already 18, but she also doesn’t like clubbing. As soon as I heard, I said, “Yay! Now we don’t have to go clubbing!” Marnia looked at me with threatening eyes… squinting at me… I knew they were just joking. But still, it was worth a try. We ordered pizza and hung around Sonia’s place. While waiting for the pizzas, Shai got her make-up done by Sonia.

Pizzas came, we started eating while Sonia did Martha’s make-up. Oh, I forgot to mention that they started drinking 10 minutes after Shai and I got there. Shai brought Baileys and Jim Beam, Martha brought Schmirnoff Vodka and Bundaberg Rum, Sonia had wine ready and I bought two 1.2L cokes, one diet and one original (as requested) to go with the Rum. I didn’t drink. They said they wanted to drink before leaving and had to at least be tipsy before they left the house. We played the “I have never…” drinking game introduced by Martha. Su’s Muslim and shouldn’t drink, but she had a little bit of Baileys and then wine, but stopped with water. I used water to play. To my surprise Jay drank as well, not much, but she only touched wine. She did try Baileys though, cos Shai told her it was nice. Jay and I found “I have never…” really fun and on and off popped out comments like, “let’s just play this the whole night” or “this is fun, clubbing not needed”… But nah, they (Marnia) were so stuck on their plan (mentally) that they weren’t willing to let it go. I didn’t understand how we were going to go if Jay didn’t have her passport.

To cut an already long story short, we went to the cheese cake place where we surprised Shai with three slices of different cheesecakes, split amongst the six of us. This was followed by short little speeches telling Shai what we thought about her… you know, the usual stuff you say to a birthday girl/guy… the “he’s a jolly good fellow” speech, except Shai’s not a fellow. Anyways, you get the picture. Did I mention how drunk the 4 (Shai, Martha, Sonia and Su) were? Shai actually puked before we left Sonia’s place. Sonia and Martha were walking in a zig-zag pattern on the sidewalk. Su was throwing a tantrum saying that some people keep quiet and to themselves when drunk and that she throws tantrums and gets angry when she’s drunk…. OKAY…. WEIRD but WHATEVER. Seriously speaking, I was a bit worried for their safety, especially Marnia. They were whispering and stuff and speaking with close proximity in the facial region. This actually led to an Aussie “bloke” asking them if they “just pashed”. For those of you who don’t know, pash means kiss in Aussie slang. I had to answer NO for them. Gosh… embarrassing walking in public with drunken people. Shairah was screaming “Fat Ass!!” to a mannequin in a store window across the street while we were waiting for the “green man”. Martha couldn’t even tell when to cross the road or not. I had to literally pull her back from taking a step onto the road as a car was coming… Scary…And Su was walking far behind us with a sour face. What a circus!!!! Jay and I were saying how we felt like the guardians of these gullible and vulnerable people.
Cake Place--- Before clubbing

Main event—Clubbing (after cake). We took a bus from the cake place to The Valley (a.k.a Fortitude Valley, a.k.a. Chinatown) to get to Fridays (name of the club). As we were walking from the bus stop to Fridays, I fell on my ass, to be more specific, I fell on my left butt cheek, it still hurts. Dang heels have no grip. I slipped on the side of a curb and fell on my buttocks. Ouch, still hurts til today. Shai told me she almost slipped at the same spot as well; I felt better knowing that it wasn’t my heel-walking skills that sucked. Haha… Anyways, all the way, Sonia was asking what we would do if we couldn’t get Jay in and telling Jay to practice saying her date of birth as quick and as natural as possible. Frankly, I thought that was the dumbest thing ever, I mean, come on, stating your date of birth as confidently as possible to strict bouncers is not even remotely an alternate option to get into clubs without ID. Gosh…

On the way there we met up with Nadira (my best friend back when I was in Primary 1), Daniel (her now ex-bf), David (my cool mentor during orientation) and Dai (girl from China, was a mentor, not mine, and has a HUGE crush on David, I don’t like her for various reasons I won’t discuss now). Nadira joined us as the rest went off to another club.

Short version- Jay couldn’t get in, but the rest of us could. I showed the dude my passport and he let me in. But I wasn’t IN the club yet, I had to ascend a flight of steps before paying to enter. So, Jay couldn’t get in and Sonia was standing on the other side of the door with her, trying to talk Jay in. Nope, didn’t work. I give praise to the bouncer… That’s the way to go… Not letting people in just cos they flirt or try to reason with you.

Sonia asked with a frown on her face (I found this fake), “So what do we do now?”
“It’s okay, you guys just go ahead. I’ll wait for you guys out here,” Jay said.

“You sure?” Sonia asks.

“Yeah, it’s fine! It seems quite safe here,” Jay says.

At this point I’m thinking:-

1 Are you freaking kidding me, Sonia? You’re actually thinking about leaving Jay here by herself? It’s so dangerous!!! There are so many drunken guys coming out of this sort of place, and Jay’s so… so innocent and quiet and shy… WHAT THE…???

2 Is clubbing really more important than Jay? I mean, I know we just met her but… have some damned common courtesy man! WHAT THE…???

3 Isn’t it common practice to not do something unless everyone can do it? I mean, if we have fun, we have fun together, don’t we?

I was really shocked at Sonia’s decision. I don’t “blame” the others because they had nothing to do with the decision process. They were waiting on the other side of the door, they could hear what was going on but they knew Sonia was calling the shots. Am I wrong here? Exaggerating? This led me to a lot of thinking that night. More on this later.

I knew Jay was feeling guilty for not bringing her passport, but I didn’t see reason for her to actually feel GUILTY when it wasn’t her fault… I mean, we could’ve done anything other than clubbing right?

“I’ll stay outside with her, you guys want to go so bad, go ahead, I’ve waited this long, another half hour won’t kill me, plus I’m not extremely excited about it,” I told them.

“You sure?” Sonia asked with that sympathetic look on her face (I found this fake too).

“Yeah, why don’t we rotate? I’ll accompany Jay first, then after awhile, one of you come down and I’ll go up, then we switch again… Like shifts, ok?” I suggested.

Jay kept apologizing, I told her not to be stupid and not to feel bad because I didn’t like clubbing and that I didn’t mind waiting with her. She still kept apologizing. Haha… I could tell she was feeling really bad for in a way ruining MY fun. But to be honest, I didn’t mind.

So I took this opportunity to get to know Jay better by doing the best thing we could do—sit and talk. Isn’t talking so much more meaningful than dancing around people you don’t know? Anyways, after awhile Nadira comes down to accompany me, bringing along with her this Indian guy she met “upstairs” (at the club). We sat around one of the many tables outside the entrance of Fridays. We talked, the four of us. Then after awhile, this Irish dude (obviously drunk), came over and started talking to us… Nadira humoured him by chatting. We listened and shook his hand occasionally.

In that space of time, where I was sitting outside the club with Jay, Nad and that Indian dude (can’t remember his name), the weirdest situations came about. There was this Aussie guy that dropped his cell phone right in front of me. He then picked up the pieces and sat on the table beside ours trying to piece his phone back together. After he did, he had trouble fitting the sim card in and asked for my help. I managed to fix it and we shook hands as he told Jay, “your friend here is a f^%*ing legend”, then turned to me and said thanks. Then he just sat in his chair that was now moved closer to our table (to the point that he was like a person from our table) and text messaged for awhile as the 4 (Nad, Jay, Indian dude and I) of us talked. It was moments later til the Irish bloke came along and started talking to us… The conversation was very… erm… meaningless. I also saw this Aussie girl in a skimpy yellow dress that can’t even be called a dress that was sort of just cloth coverings for her private parts; she could’ve worn nothing and it would’ve made no difference… Gosh… the way some people present themselves just makes you wonder how messed up their brain has to be for them to dress that way IN PUBLIC!!! HOLY CRAP!!!

After about what I think was an hour or more, Sonia comes down and says, “Just came down to check on you guys.” Nad introduces the Indian dude to Sonia and as she is chatting and flirting or socializing with the Indian guy, Nad tells me in Chinese that she doesn’t like Sonia and complains in Chinese as well, “she said she would look after me and said if in the future there’s anything, I can call her and she’ll take me around places. God! I’ve been here a year and she’s treating me like I just got here.” Hahaha… What I like about Nad is that she’s quite independent and of course, her honesty. I try to explain to Nad that that’s just how Sonia is… After Sonia finishes talking to the Indian guy, she sits down as Nad and Indian Guy leaves to go back into the club. So now it’s just Sonia, Jay and I.

“So, how are you guys? are you guys bored?” Sonia asks one of her STUPID and insincere questions.

At this point I’m really pissed, “how are we?” what do you think? “Are we bored?” You think? Of course we’re friggin bored! We’re waiting outside a club for you guys to have “fun” without us!??! What do you think? That’s got to be the DUMBEST fishing question I’ve ever been asked, ever!!

But of course I kept my cool and kept quiet. I wasn’t about to ruin the friendship over HER stupidity and selfishness. But the next thing she said made my blood boil above 100 degrees.

“You guys can go home if you want you know, if you’re bored...”

“Please make yourself at home, eat stuff from the fridge, sleep on the bed, change into my pyjamas… anything, ok? Cos I don’t want you guys to feel uncomfortable.”

WHAT THE…? OH MY GOD! I was gonna pull my hair out. Why?

1 I wasn’t keen on clubbing, but she MADE me feel bad for saying NO in the first place. You made me come and now you’re gonna “shoo” me away? (That was really what it felt like)

2 I was going against my better judgment to come to this god forsaken place (sorry God, not cursing at you), I had to change my whole mentality and attitude in order for me to change my mind. Trust me, this was not easy for me. Ask my mom.

3 She made me dress up (saying I couldn’t get in unless I did) and most importantly, she made me wear heels. Bloody heels! Have any of you ever seen me wear heels, let alone touch a pair of heels? Hate those things, I can’t walk in those and they’re bad for your feet. In my opinion, whoever invented sneakers was a million times smarter than the person or persons who invented heels.

4 I thought we were going to rotate? How am I going to spend time with Shairah then?

5 (Sonia) You’re actually doing this to me? Jay, maybe. I understand, you don’t know her that well, I would never do this to anyone, but I guess as Sonia, you would. But seriously, you would ditch me? Thank you. Thank you very much.

6 It’s Shairah’s Birthday, aren’t we supposed to spend it with her? All her friends? NO? Ok, fine. Hog my friend even though she’s as much your friend as she is mine.

Argh… I guess I was overreacting (in my head) and putting too much thought into it. Maybe. Maybe not. Whatever. That’s what I thought of the whole situation. It was stupid. And it was a waste of my time. I could’ve been doing homework and finishing assignments. Gosh!!!!!!!!!! I hate it when people waste my time.

I told Jay that she could be the judge of what WE would do—either stay there and wait or go home, ironic how home at that time meant Sonia’s place. Jay said that if I didn’t mind, she’d like to go home. I told her sure! Would love to! I had had enough of that crap! It was 2.30am when Jay decided this. No problemo, we’d been there since 1am. I think we’d done enough waiting. We walked to the bus stop outside McDonalds to wait for the bus. It was scheduled to come at 3am. Great. More waiting. I suggested that we got something from Mackers. I was a bit hungry. We bumped into David, Dai and Daniel there. Jay paid for the fries and her drink. I told her not to, but she insisted, “it’ll make me feel better, please Jamie.” So I let her. We shared the fries of course. Jay, such a nice girl, I felt bad because Sonia made her feel bad for not bringing ID to go clubbing. Stupid thing to feel guilty about huh? I told Jay countless times that night to not worry about it. But she really only kept apologizing more. Made me feel bad. That’s just no way to treat a friend. Don’t you think? What Sonia did really pissed me off. “Majorly”. If you don’t understand what Sonia did wrong, or why I’m pointing the finger at her, please let me know, I WILL explain in even more detail and be happy to. And if you don’t understand the reason for my anger, please let me know, I would be delighted to explain even more than I already have. So please feel free. And if you think I was overreacting, please let me know, but make sure you finish reading this whole post first. Thank you. I’m far from done here.

So as we were munching down on fries at close to 3 am in the morning, a plump girl wearing a short skirt, spaghetti straps and little fairy wings on her back walked over and stood a metre away from me. She was crying, more like tearing silently. Holding her slippers in one hand and wiping tears off her face with her other, she looked miserable. Being the person I am, I kept quiet and didn’t want to butt my nose into other people’s business.

But she spoke to me first, “Are you guys waiting for a cab?”

I told her we weren’t and asked if she was okay.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just had a really bad night. I had a fight with my sister on her 21st. I mean, how embarrassing do you think it would be if your sister called you a slut and a bitch in front of her friends, then slapped you in the face.”

“Wow, that’s sad,” was what I thought. But I tried to console her. Can’t remember what I said though. Then I directed her to the taxi stand. She said thanks and left. Later on, Jay made a valid point, “she must be really upset to confide in a stranger (me) like that.” I never thought of it that way before, and agreed. Hmm…

The bus came a little later than 3am, we got on and continued talking about stuff like we had been doing the whole night. We got off at the right stop and started walking back to Sonia’s apartment building. We were supposed to dial #037 at the intercom outside the building so Sonia’s sister could let us in. But we dialled more than 6 times to no avail. So we said, forget it, and sat outside on the steps in the cold and continued talking. We did try to contact Sonia but she didn’t pick up. I tried the rest of them but none of them picked up, by then my best guess was that the music was too loud and they couldn’t hear their phones. I was a bit worried though, they were all quite drunk. We stayed outside for about 45 mins until an Aussie girl in a black dress holding her heels in her hands and walking back barefoot came along as a resident of the building. She let us in without contacting security, thankfully. Sonia’s apartment door was not locked but her bedroom door was, which meant that my bag with contact lens solution and toothbrush was in there, so was Jay’s stuff. Crap!!! We didn’t want to wake Sonia’s sister up, so we sat in the living room area on the couches and talked some more. Jay let me change into a t-shirt she brought along so I would be more comfortable. Nice of her. She said she didn’t need to change so I used her shirt (don’t worry mom, I washed it and then returned it to her).

About twenty minutes or so after we got into the apartment, Sonia’s French, female, African American flatmate, François came back from her night out. She’s very nice, friendly and easy to talk to. She told us we didn’t miss anything not going into Fridays and that it was a crap club and stuff, no class and things like that. Haha. But Jay and I weren’t even remotely interested in clubbing, nice of her though, trying to make us feel less left out. Come to think of it, I was just pissed cos I didn’t get to spend time with the friends I’ve known longer here. François told us where the key to the room was so we could get our stuff. When we opened Sonia’s bedroom door silently to avoid waking her sister up, surprise surprise, no one was in the room, which meant that we were actually waiting for no one… Thanks Sonia, sending us to your place where no one was home for us to get in. Finally I could take my contacts off. After washing the dishes, François took a shower and went to bed. By then it was already 4.30am.

Jay soon fell asleep on the long couch where she was curled up. She told me, “I’m just going to take a nap, see you in ten minutes.” I laughed and told her she wouldn’t see me, she’d be dreaming in her sleep by then. But of course I told her to go ahead. I tried calling Sonia just to see if they were okay, hopefully the alcohol had worn off by then and they could take care of themselves. But guess what? Her phone rang a few metres away from me, it was on top of the TV; she left it at home. GREAT!!! I was ringing for nothing before! I got Martha on the phone and she passed me to Sonia, she told me that they were fine and that they were having breakfast at this pancake place somewhere. Great. What a nice way to make someone feel even MORE left out of the hanging out that was going on.

I walked around awhile after, looking out at the nice view, watching the sun rise behind the bridge. What a nice view, but what a bad night or day, whatever. What happened the few hours before made me think a lot and made me question what they took me for and what the friendship really meant to them. I tried thinking of it in their point of view, tried to be as understanding as possible. I’m not gonna get into that now. I’ll just be blabbing on and on about stuff you don’t need to know and don’t have time to read. I connected the 2 single couches and fell asleep on that.

At 6.30am, Sonia calls her phone, yes, she calls her own phone on the TV and I jump up to answer, still half asleep.

“Can you open the door for us? We’re outside,” Sonia says.

I get up to open the door, the door that was not locked. I just wasn’t thinking straight at that hour. Haha…

Sonia was the first to say, “I’m sorry!!” with that insincere tone like she’s saying it for the sake of saying it. “It’s fine. As long as you guys had fun,” I tell them. Shai comes in next apologizing as well. I say the same thing. I tell them to keep it down cos Jay’s asleep then I leave them to go back to sleep on the connected couch. Sonia comes out of her room after awhile, telling both Jay and I to go sleep on the beds in her room with them. Jay says “no, it’s okay. I’m fine here.” So I do the same, partly cos I was pissed and would rather spend time with a genuine person, even if she would be asleep than with people who ditched their friends. Shai comes out and tries to persuade me, I tell them they’ve been out all night and that they deserve the beds. She leaves us alone and soon after, Sonia comes out with pillows and blankets. Nice of her. Then I go back to sleep.

What happens the next morning is not even remotely interesting so I’m just gonna leave it at that. But just to prove and enforce once more why I think clubbing is stupid, I was told some clubbing stories from the night before: Su’s thighs got felt up the whole night while she was talking to a guy by the bar, Martha got hit on by so many weird guys, Shai got rubbed against while she was dancing… Need I say more? Oh, what’s funny is that Sonia kept saying how she was “protecting” them by “shoo-ing” guys away, I mean, what BS.

Basically I didn’t have a good time, in fact I had a crap time and that was time wasted. My respect for Sonia dropped that night and it made me question her maturity and the person she was as a whole. Tell me what you think. Was I making a big deal (I didn’t act out and throw a temper tantrum or anything) in my head?

CARSELDINE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Everyone's working

Shai and I stayed over at Kannan’s place the following Tuesday night, it was the holidays, but I had an essay outline for my diploma subject due on Wednesday. I emailed an incomplete draft to Ken on Monday for feedback. We were supposed to stay for only 2 nights—Tuesday and Wednesday. Shai did, she went back cos she was moving in with her bro, she is finally allowed to stay on her own (she is officially 18). Sherman had been living there since the holidays started. He left with Shai to help her move because they stayed in the same homestay. I stayed an extra two nights cos I had to help Kannan film his interview with Jared, this guy who paints in the street with spray cans. It was fun living with 5 friends (Kannan, Alan, Amber, Chewan and Su) and Fluffy. New living environment for me. I’ve never lived with more than one person before (family is different obviously), especially not with friends. It was great fun.

On Tuesday night we played Taboo (KK people=Shai, Sherman and I vs miscellaneous=Chewan, Su and Kannan). Chewan left the game and his team at about 2am for sleep, so it was 3 against 2. But I must say, Su and Kannan were strong competitors, they have such good general knowledge they connect really well, mentally. KK people won the first round, Team Miscellaneous won the second round, and then we tied the third round, so we played the final, fourth round. KK people won by 1 card. It was crazy! Competition was in the air, there were some heated arguments about the rules. Everyone got really competitive, but it was all good. We slept at 6am that day. Haha… great fun.

Our body clocks were so messed up; we slept at around 5 or 6 am every day. I was well fed staying with them, but we ate at the weirdest times and drank coffee at night, which didn’t help us get back to normal sleeping times at all. They had internet, so I brought my laptop so I could do work. I was doing my essay most of the time, while going online. It was so convenient with internet; I could email my teachers and get feedback or ask questions. The rest of the days were spent in the city doing interviews and watching movies. It was a good holiday, but I didn’t get much rest, they watched the DVDs I brought at funny hours like 1 or 2 am while I did my work in a corner. Chewan cooked steak with this recipe he got off of Yahoo Japan. It was yummy. And Kannan cooked Indo Mee and bullseye eggs his way, was yummy too. But to me, that was how a holiday was supposed to be like, a freaking good time with friends that are your family.

The guys cooking and my delicious dinner. Nice huh?

On one of our bus rides to the city, Kannan brought up what happened on Shairah’s birthday. I never said anything to anyone or expressed my disappointment and disapproval of what happened. He told me that Jay told him what went on that night when they were chatting on msn once. When he heard, he had the same reaction I did, he was pissed. Apparently Alan was too, when Kannan told him about it. Jay still kept saying, “No, it was fun. It was fine.” Even when she was talking to Kannan on msn. I mean, she’s one of those people that is too nice to say anything and is even thankful for friends like these. Why do I say she’s thankful? She said thanks to me for accompanying her that night when the rest of them ditched us, she said thanks to Kannan once for “allowing” her to join us and she said thanks to Shairah once for asking her if she wanted to watch a movie with us. She’s just too nice, reminds me of Yi Sing. But she’s had a pretty rough life, she told me about it that night. Anyways, turns out I wasn’t being over-the-top-melodramatic because Kannan and Alan felt the same. Kannan said he was really surprised with Sonia’s actions that night. Oh well, people surprise us some times, no use beating yourself up for other people’s decisions. Some good advice from Kannan, “If people try to change you and what you believe in, then they’re not your friend.” There is truth in that, because we are all individuals, and we were brought up with our own culture and convictions by the great influences in our life; and if other people don’t respect that, then that’s their problem and not yours.

Anyways, school started on Monday when I had to hand in my 1500 word essay for diploma. Ah… relief. That night, after a tiring first day of school and after doing as many things as possible and getting ready for my TPS 2 Computing test the next day, I went to bed at 1 am after setting my alarm to 8.30am the next morning, even though my class actually started at 11am. I always try to get up early so I can get things done. The essay was a huge weight on my mind prior the holidays and throughout the holidays, ask Kannan, I was stressed out. So basically, handing it in that day in one piece was a huge weight off my shoulders, it was the first time I felt lighter in awhile. So I had peace of mind when I fell asleep Monday night.

But I woke up the next day at 3.25pm. Yes, PM!!! I opened my eyes as I lay on my bed, strained my eyes to check the clock on the counter near my legs, it read 3.25pm. I sat up to check both my watches, they too read 3.25pm. I jumped out of bed in panic. I switched on my phone to make further confirmation of the time. My phone clock read 15:25. There were also missed calls from Shairah and Kannan. I called Kannan immediately but he didn’t pick up. I bet his phone was on silent. He was in class. Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did this happen? I didn’t wake up in the morning at all! I didn’t hear the alarm! I didn’t snooze! How? HOw? HOW? Why?!!! HOLY CRAP! I brushed my teeth and got ready in less than 10 minutes. By the eleventh minute, I was running up the hill to school. OH man oh man oh man… So dead. SO DEAD. I missed my 11-1 class with Merrill (Professional Studies) and I was about to miss my TPS Computing test (2-4pm)! And this test was summative! Oh man oh man oh man! I get to school, hair all messy, huffing and puffing, all disorientated, face all pale with sweat beads rolling down the side of my cheeks… You get the picture.

I ran to room P217 where class usually was, no one’s there! I then run to reception, ask for Fiona Cleary (my teacher), Val says she’s still in class, I told her she wasn’t in there. I call Su as Val tries to locate her for me. Su doesn’t pick up. Val says Fiona’s not at her desk. Dang! Sometimes class finishes early. I was afraid that might’ve happened. I run to other possible classrooms that we’ve switched to before, nope, no luck. I call Su, this time she picks up, “Where are you? You missed the test!” I ask her where she is, she tells me P202 (one of the 24hr labs, some times teachers use that class), I go there, but that’s not where the class is. Su says I just missed Fiona. I go back to reception, Jules, who’s really friendly and nice to me, helps me look for Fiona this time; she goes into the staff room to put a note on Fiona’s table. I thank Jules and wait outside the staff room. A moment later, Fiona comes out and sees me, her eyes widen. I stand up and explain myself. She knew something was up cos I missed class, and I NEVER miss class. Being the nice person she is she says she’ll give me a chance to retake the test. Hallelujah!!! We arrange a time for the next day at 2pm. I thank her and rush to Rena’s Questionnaire writing workshop which starts at 4pm.

Kannan told me he’d come to the workshop, and sure enough he did, so did Shairah. Anyways, Kannan also told me the night before that he’ll make an appointment for consultation with Tim for the both of us the next day (Tuesday) at 1.30pm. But I missed that too!!!

Later on, I found out that he didn’t go cos apparently Tim heard 1pm, so he waited for half an hour before Kannan went to see him at 1.30pm. By then Tim was hungry, so Kannan told him to go ahead and have lunch since he didn’t know where I was as well. How sweet of him! Now THAT’s a friend.

Oh yeah, to add. Shirls and I went jogging a few weeks back. This is a pic i took for that reason. My alterior motive was cos my parents want to see what my flatmate looks like. So here she is.

So that’s what’s been going on with me for the past month or so. Thanks for reading and thanks for caring!!